News Articles

“The Trevelyan” Set to Become the New Rachel

“The Trevelyan” Set to Become the New Rachel

A hairstyle that gives the wearer the air of a firm but fair headmistress is set to sweep the world of haute coiffure this season, it has emerged. Inspired by the locks of newly elected Conservative MP for Berwick-upon-Tweed, Anne-Marie Trevelyan, the long-layered bob is already in hot demand in hair salons across the town by […]

Cannabis Blamed for Council Plan for Key Sites

Cannabis Blamed for Council Plan for Key Sites

The liberal use of cannabis amongst Northumberland County Councillors has been blamed for the rise of increasingly bizarre thought showers emanating from Morpeth, it is claimed. The pungent herbal matter, often used as pain relief for the terminally ill, is believed to create a heightened sense of euphoria, leading users to surmise that every thought passing through their THC-saturated […]

B&M Opening Hailed as Society Event of the Year

B&M Opening Hailed as Society Event of the Year

The opening of a new retail outlet extolling cheap stuff from China as must-have lifestyle purchases has been lauded by Berwick’s Civic Party as the society event of the year. Complete with several cheerful balloons in B&M Bargains’ smart livery of electric blue and orange, the inaugural ribbon-cutting ceremony was undertaken by Mayor Isabel Hunter and representatives of North Northumberland […]

Northumbria Police Give High Street Hit-and-Run the Christmas Go Ahead

Northumbria Police Give High Street Hit-and-Run the Christmas Go Ahead

Northumbria Police Chief Constable, Genevieve Fitzroy, has reassured motorists in Berwick-upon-Tweed that they will not be prosecuted for knocking over pedestrians in the run-up to Christmas. In a statement issued yesterday morning, Ms Fitzroy said: “As a gesture of seasonal goodwill to all those who find themselves behind the wheel in the run-up to Christmas, I […]

Northumberland County Council Approves Berwick Castle Restoration

Northumberland County Council Approves Berwick Castle Restoration

The Better Together campaign was celebrating last night after Northumberland County Council granted planning permission to restore Berwick Castle to its former medieval glory, to include high spec arrow slits and top of the range murder-holes. The decision comes ahead of the Scottish independence referendum on September 18, the result of which is expected to come down in […]