Gossip

Miley Cyrus opens new pawn shop to Berwick concern

Miley Cyrus opens new pawn shop to Berwick concern

Not satisfied with upsetting every woman who is fatter than her, Miley Cyrus raised a few more eyebrows this week when she thrust her pelvis in the face of Berwick-upon-Tweed, the sometime singer stopping off to open the seaside town’s latest pawnbrokers, The Money Shop. The controversial performer — twice voted ‘Artist People Would Most Like […]

Grand Theft Auto V blamed for mayoral rampage

Grand Theft Auto V blamed for mayoral rampage

Two people were left for dead and another with injured feelings after Isabel Hunter, Mayor of Berwick, went on a “sustained and remorseless” rampage after being influenced by the controversial video game, Grand Theft Auto V. It is alleged that the Lib Dem councillor — who has been likened to a more mature Georgia Jagger — took exception […]

The Loss of Innocence

The Loss of Innocence

I find that whenever I receive bad news — and I mean really awful news, the sort that demands knuckle biting and sobs so racking as to make my breasts semaphore a swaying grief to passersby — nothing cheers me up more than a quick glance at the letters page of The Berwick Advertiser. Thus, on hearing […]

NOT The Readers’ Wives

NOT The Readers’ Wives

Imagine my glee this week when Elaine, valued subscriber to NOT the Berwickshire Advertiser, left this comment: I wonder if you realise that we’re not allowed to read your most excellent blog in the public library? Home broadband problems recently drove me to the library, and when I attempted to click on the link to […]

The Fight Before Christmas

The Fight Before Christmas

Sorry, but it really is a fuck-off Christmas tree. Look. What can I say? More pedestrian adjectives aren’t up to the job, they lack the necessary qualifications. No, as I drove over Royal Tweed Bridge yesterday and into Berwick, the word which hit my windscreen at high speed was ‘fuck’. Or more accurately, “F-f-f-u-u-u-u-u-c-k-k-k!” because there […]